I work as an international customer service agent. And, because the Earth is round and rotates on an axis and Germany happens to be on the other side of it (thanks a lot, science), I have to get out of bed at 4:00 am every morning. Somehow, I've been doing this for 2 years now, and I consider it a miracle that I'm not brain-dead from lack of sleep. The typical morning in my apartment plays out as follows:
4:00 am: Alarm goes off, playing a simple tune that fills me with groggy confusion and mild annoyance. I reach for whatever it is that's making that sound (my cell phone), stare at the screen for a moment, trying hard to remember what I'm supposed to do now. I wish that noise would stop. I finally manage to unlock my phone and push snooze, at which point I instantly fall asleep.
4:05 am: Alarm goes off, playing a simple tune that repeatedly pokes my brain like an annoying little kid trying to piss me off. By now I know what's going on, and I'm determined to win this little game. Snooze again, sweet relief.
4:10 am: Alarm goes off, sending me into a silent rage. I curse the world, but only in my head so I don't wake my peacefully sleeping wife. I attack the phone ferociously, accidentally knocking it off the desk. I follow it to the floor with more efficiency and determination than anything you’ll see out of me in the next 4 hours. I hit snooze, and triumphantly return to bed.
4:15 am: Alarm goes off, my eyes open slowly, and I stare at the phone. It's over. I've lost. I resign myself to this fate. I sit up, turn it off and sigh, head hanging low. Why am I awake? Because that's just the way my life is. A few sad thoughts creep into my head to match my mood, like crying kittens or three-legged puppies. When will our suffering stop, little puppy? No one knows. I slowly put on my clothes in the dark, all the while staring forlornly at the warm, empty space next to my wife. I try to make myself feel better. It's okay, I think. Maybe we'll run into each other again. It's a small apartment, after all. But I know, deep down, that we won't be seeing each other for a long time. 15 hours, at least, but it seems like an eternity.
4:30 am: I'm dressed and ready to go. I collapse on top of my wife in a sort of farewell-hug/body-slam. "I don' wanna." I mumble, my face pressed against her cheek. She just kisses me and says, "half a gouda, funny," or something, then falls back into the one thing in the world I want more than anything else at this moment. Beep. I mean Sled. I mean sleep and bed. But, alas! It is not to be. I stumble out the door, and hope I don’t fall asleep on the way to work.
4:59 am: I sprint through the doors at work, clock in, sit down at my desk, and start watching the clock. Only 2 hours and 15 minutes until my 15 minute break: a nap in the middle of a hallway on the unoccupied second floor, my coat acting as pillow and blanket.
7:30 am: Alarm goes off. Silent fury. I curse myself for staying up so late AGAIN, and tell myself I'll be smarter next time.
7:35 am: All is right with the world. The sun is coming out and I realize that life is good.
11:02 pm: I make a sandwich and tell myself waking up won't be so hard tomorrow.
I know that going to bed earlier is an easy solution, but when the time comes for me to put the solution into action, I've already forgotten there's a problem. What is this post about, again?
4:00 am: Alarm goes off, playing a simple tune that fills me with groggy confusion and mild annoyance. I reach for whatever it is that's making that sound (my cell phone), stare at the screen for a moment, trying hard to remember what I'm supposed to do now. I wish that noise would stop. I finally manage to unlock my phone and push snooze, at which point I instantly fall asleep.
4:05 am: Alarm goes off, playing a simple tune that repeatedly pokes my brain like an annoying little kid trying to piss me off. By now I know what's going on, and I'm determined to win this little game. Snooze again, sweet relief.
4:10 am: Alarm goes off, sending me into a silent rage. I curse the world, but only in my head so I don't wake my peacefully sleeping wife. I attack the phone ferociously, accidentally knocking it off the desk. I follow it to the floor with more efficiency and determination than anything you’ll see out of me in the next 4 hours. I hit snooze, and triumphantly return to bed.
4:15 am: Alarm goes off, my eyes open slowly, and I stare at the phone. It's over. I've lost. I resign myself to this fate. I sit up, turn it off and sigh, head hanging low. Why am I awake? Because that's just the way my life is. A few sad thoughts creep into my head to match my mood, like crying kittens or three-legged puppies. When will our suffering stop, little puppy? No one knows. I slowly put on my clothes in the dark, all the while staring forlornly at the warm, empty space next to my wife. I try to make myself feel better. It's okay, I think. Maybe we'll run into each other again. It's a small apartment, after all. But I know, deep down, that we won't be seeing each other for a long time. 15 hours, at least, but it seems like an eternity.
4:30 am: I'm dressed and ready to go. I collapse on top of my wife in a sort of farewell-hug/body-slam. "I don' wanna." I mumble, my face pressed against her cheek. She just kisses me and says, "half a gouda, funny," or something, then falls back into the one thing in the world I want more than anything else at this moment. Beep. I mean Sled. I mean sleep and bed. But, alas! It is not to be. I stumble out the door, and hope I don’t fall asleep on the way to work.
4:59 am: I sprint through the doors at work, clock in, sit down at my desk, and start watching the clock. Only 2 hours and 15 minutes until my 15 minute break: a nap in the middle of a hallway on the unoccupied second floor, my coat acting as pillow and blanket.
7:30 am: Alarm goes off. Silent fury. I curse myself for staying up so late AGAIN, and tell myself I'll be smarter next time.
7:35 am: All is right with the world. The sun is coming out and I realize that life is good.
11:02 pm: I make a sandwich and tell myself waking up won't be so hard tomorrow.
I know that going to bed earlier is an easy solution, but when the time comes for me to put the solution into action, I've already forgotten there's a problem. What is this post about, again?
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